This isn't necessarily what EcoGeek is about. But I figure, as a fairly romantically successful EcoGeek with quite a few tricks up my eco-sleeves, I'd bestow some of my knowledge upon my faithful readers.

Now, I know that not all of you are guys, and I'm confident that many of those who are guys are quite capable of making the ladies swoon. But as a certified husband with a certified Master of Environmental Science, I would like to think that I have a special sort of knowledge.

So if you've got EcoGeek cred with the ladies, but aren't quite sure how to convert that into some good lovin' I've got a few suggestions.

Work Up Your Green Cred
Skip the fancy dinner and head to the local wildlife refuge, land trust, or wildlife rehabilitation center...preferably with checkbook in hand. A lot of ladies aren't even impressed by $100 dinners anymore, but she'll be putty in your hands if you bust out a Benjamin for mother earth.

A Shower Built for Two
Your water heater is likely the most power-hungry appliance in your house. And a great deal of the hot water we use is for that daily steamy ritual...the shower. Traditionally, this is a solitary activity. But why? What better time to multi-task! Get dirty while you get clean, and save some energy at the same time. You can invite her into the shower with you to save money, energy, time and the planet! Trust me, it's an easy sell.

The Love Train
There's no more romantic start to a relationship than a mini-vacation. And while cars and planes are generally the first thought for travel, they're decidedly ungreen....and also uncomfortable places for lovin'. Think about the planet...and the bed, and try a train. Amtrak has been sprucing up its services lately, offering free booze on East Coast trips and inexpensive "roomettes" for couples. What does this mean for your love life? How about a bottle of wine with dinner and the only method of travelling across the country that includes a locked door and a fold-out bed. Want to add a bunch of states to the "yeah... I did it there" list?....Trains are perfect.

Downloadable Distractions
Depending on the general level of dirtiness of your girl, you might find that digital warez can be acquired without physical packaging. If there's anything that's easy to acquire via the internet, it's porn. Whatever she's into, you can find it. But make sure she's into it first. A good suggestion? How about F*ck for Forest (nsfw), the only porn site that gives a portion of proceeds to conservation efforts.

Solar Powered Passion
Yes, indeed, there are solar powered sex toys. Just in case she needs to know you're taking care of the environment while you're taking care of her needs. But, even better, why buy a vibrator when you can turn your cell phone into one with no extra materials (or money spent)? To finish it off, buy a solar charger for your new cellular vibrator for a double whammy.

Turn Down the Heat
If you find that you and your lady share a bed, but not much else, the problem might be as simple as the temperature. Turn down the thermostat in the winter, "to save on carbon emissions." Before bed, run your hands under some hot water so that she won't shy from your touch, and then get some heat going the original way.

Comments (16)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Great post!
written by Wren , October 02, 2007

What a fun post! We read it out loud and laughed. I would mention, however, that typically, co-showering usually leads longer showers (often longer than 2 solo showers combined), at least in my experience. They sure are fun, though!

Two in the shower takes more that twice
written by Birney Summers , October 02, 2007

When ever I have invited a VERY close friend into the shower the shower lasted more that twice as long as a single shower. Not so efficient but much more fun.

For green fun while traveling try a sailboat trip. No greenhouse gas emissions and a great way to make waves.

Energy Boomer

Dear Hank
written by Eric , October 02, 2007

love the article. my favorite is the thermostat. sneaky, and because my girl isn't all about the environment like i am... she just thinks i'm weird.

keep up the good work.

Amen Hank! But don't forget...
written by Ryan @ The Higher Pie , October 03, 2007

The ladies dig vegans! You get to show off your compassion, your ethical fortitude, and most importantly, your remarkably clear complexion.

Oh, and, eh hem... vegans taste better.

...
written by Maria , October 03, 2007

LOL! I'm sending this to my husband....

Another Idea...
written by Lisa , October 03, 2007

The train is a great idea. Northern Montana is quite romantic by train...

Scoot!
written by Wren , October 03, 2007

Another transportation idea: asking your date to leave the car at home and hop on the back of your [110mpg] scooter for a trip to the beach to watch the sunset.

First, you gotta find the girl!
written by geekpdx , October 04, 2007

I found mine online, via a personals site... The main picture I posted? A photo of me hoisting a SOLV trash bag into a dumpster at our local beach cleanup (while wearing an ACLU baseball cap).

Preemptive Strike
written by Zephyr , October 05, 2007

Here's a good one for those thinking long-term: the two of you together plant a beautiful tree in her parents' yard. In the future you sit under its shade, carve your initials in it, or maybe even string a hammock. BUT BEST PART: If she ever leaves you, she'll go to her mother's, see the tree, think of your romantic nature, remember the good times, et voila-- you're made in the shade.

How to REALLY Score....
written by Starre , October 11, 2007

I just wrote a response
to the above post on my blog, Eco Chick. Thanks to Hank for the inspiration!

...
written by Starre , October 11, 2007

Looks like hypertext linking isn't working...here's the link:

http://eco-chick.com/2007/10/11/how-to-score-an-eco-chick/

...
written by Jenn , November 13, 2007

Y'know what would get me purring... cooking together: local produce from the farmers market, local wine from vineyeards within the state, beeswax candles from a local apiary, and dessert using fair-trade chocolate. Now *that's* hot!

Hmm
written by PJ , December 02, 2007

Beeswax candles are cruel to bees

Movies At Home Do the Trick Too!
written by Single Parent Dating , December 07, 2007

I've always been a fan of saving those carbon fumes you use driving to the movies and just staying in to watch one. You can cuddle better than at the theatre, it costs much less, don't have to miss any scenes cause you can pause it to get popcorn, etc. I've got a pointer to the
GreenCine site on my blog that even lets you watch the movies on your laptop in bed! In fact, my free blog site is dedicated to single parents like myself trying to re-enter the dating world again. There's a growing collection of ideas for romantic gift and date ideas too. You can find it at: http://www.singleparentromance.com

My 2 Cents

George

Good tips
written by Nathan , December 07, 2007

Good tips on how to look good in front of a lady and helping the earth!

FUNNY STUFF
written by Clen , January 12, 2008

O man this is funny. I mean none of it will work, but its still funny.

Write comment

Name

Email

Website

Title

Comment

Add Comment